Throughout my life there has been this cultural hyper focus on the other in relationships. When a relationship goes wrong it’s because of the other person. They did or didn’t do something. Throughout my practice and life, I’m seeing that this is true when in a relationship with someone that lacks maturity and for the shallowest of relationships. For instance, the relationships that is based on consumption and trade, not emotional experiences, regardless of length of time. There are many people, culturally pushed I’ll add, that have the same type of relationship with lovers as they do with phones.
I’ve had clients and friends tell me about their relationships and, even through the perspective of the consumer relationship, there is this hidden observation. We make ourselves unlovable by not allowing ourselves to be loved. I was resistant to really seeing this because why would we make ourselves unlovable when all we want is that love in our life? It’s a blow to our ego, the human ego, to continuously realize that our consciousness and its right hand, will, are not the rulers of our lives, mind, soul or actions.
I’m going to share stories of my life and practice to explain what’s happening here and why we’re may be unknowingly creating unlovable situations and lives.
Mia, making herself unlovable due to disconnecting.
Strife, doing everything to sabotage the love he wanted and had.