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Author: adam ayala

Psychoanalysis is Not Counseling

Psychoanalysis is Not Counseling

I could tell you what to do, and be right about it, but you wouldn’t do it. Why should you? Those who tell you what to do too quickly feel that you’re a burden and want you to just go away or they’re just being snob nose jerks who pity you. When someone pity’s you they don’t receive any good feels that something happened to you but are gladder it didn’t happen to them. Empathy is when you can fully…

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What is Psychoanalysis: Correction on Dr. Jordan Peterson’s View of Psychoanalytic Technique

What is Psychoanalysis: Correction on Dr. Jordan Peterson’s View of Psychoanalytic Technique

Dr. Peterson speaks about Psychoanalysis and why Freud used the couch and it seemed to be misunderstood by him. “Many of those who seek therapy desire and need a closer, more personal relationship (although that has its dangers). That is in part why I have opted in my practice for the conversation, instead of the Freudian method- as have most clinical psychologist (pp. 243).” Dr. Peterson (2018), as a clinical psychologist, uses face to face therapy where he is very…

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Who Controls Your Mental Health?

Who Controls Your Mental Health?

I can come off as harsh to Dr. Jordan Peterson and how he practiced as a clinical psychologist and psychotherapy in general sometimes. I agree with psychology and psychotherapy more than not, but I disagree with them when it comes to core principles of the human psyche. That’s all philosophy though. A bigger issue I have is the system that most of psychology works in. When working for clinics I would go to the homes of client’s and help them…

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Dr. Jordan Peterson has this Wrong: Psychoanalyst Don’t Change Your Memories

Dr. Jordan Peterson has this Wrong: Psychoanalyst Don’t Change Your Memories

Dr. Peterson (2018) on his 9th Rule Assume That the Person You Are Listening to Might Know Something You Don’t spoke about the importance of summarization in psychotherapy, but there are some problem when doing this. “The second advantage to the act of summary is that it aids the person in consolidation and utility of memory. A client in my practice recounts a long, meandering, emotion-laden account of a difficult period in his or her life. We summarize back and…

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Having a Career & A Love Life

Having a Career & A Love Life

  Usually my articles have had some references to literature of some sort. This isn’t that type of article. Here I’m just talking from me, saying anything, with the guidance of making my experiences useful for you. Or at least thought provoking and challenging. A lot of us exist and experience this world feeling unknown, confused and un-understandable. Where people believe that our dreams are empty. I get it, that sucks. So, sucky adventure time it is. I was conversing…

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Fear: Destroyer of Love

Fear: Destroyer of Love

Our insecurities can passively destroy our relationships or actively destroy them. Today, we’re going to explore how both work to destroy a relationship. The number one killer of relationships I’ve seen that isn’t spoken about is when our insecurities are so strong that we isolate our lovers from their friends. This is different from the vicious act of isolating someone that we can see in physically abusive relationships, but it does the same thing. What am I talking about right?…

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Attraction: Being the Lover the Lover You Want Will Want

Attraction: Being the Lover the Lover You Want Will Want

When people find out I’m a Modern Psychoanalytical Relationship Specialist the first question I’m asked is some variation of, “Why do I always fall in love with the wrong type of person?” I’ve always been so focused on understanding how to make a good relationship last a life time that I’ve neglected to explore what attracts one person to another in a more meaningful way. The first thing I tell them is that they’re not falling in love. That’s always…

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Absence of Sex: Lover’s Unconscious Agreement

Absence of Sex: Lover’s Unconscious Agreement

                  Shelby and Roger I had a couple come in because of the lack of sex in their relationship. They both sat on the couch, Shelby sitting up strait and angry with Robert looking annoyed, sunken into the couch. “He won’t have sex with me unless I’m on my period and I refuse to. It’s not comfortable then and it just causes a mess. When I’m ready any other time he just…

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Orgasms: Important Unconscious Meanings

Orgasms: Important Unconscious Meanings

I received many questions and comments about my last article on Izzy’s orgasm. Izzy stated that since she had her first orgasm with Rufus, she knew he was the one for her. I was told that the idea was ridiculous because orgasms come just from physical stimulation. Is that so? Reading back, I realized I didn’t really explain how orgasms can be understood as a measure of good intimacy neurologically or psychoanalytically. In the next few articles I’m going to…

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How Good Love Starts

How Good Love Starts

Good Love starts with good unconscious attraction. How does this unconscious attraction happen? I remember a client of mine, Rufus, who found himself discovering the unconscious workings of the attraction in his relationship decades after his marriage. Throughout his analysis he learned how that unconscious attraction worked which helped him save his marriage from shattering. Izzy & Rufus “I remember my wife and I in High School. She was sweet and wild and I was empathetic and reserved and we…

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