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Leaving Your Toxic Relationship

Leaving Your Toxic Relationship

Toxic relationships don’t exist just because of the “other” person in the relationship most of the time. It’s often the case that you don’t have enough time, energy, mature personality or willpower to deal with the many small problems that have been allowed to accumulate in the relationship. A pond becomes toxic one drop at a time. Sometimes only one toxic drip drops in, and other times an overwhelming amount drops in at once. Toxic relationships will too often look…

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If You Betray Me I Have to See You Differently

If You Betray Me I Have to See You Differently

Your full trust does not come back when you’ve been betrayed in a relationship. If you’ve been cheated on, left or lied to constantly you will be able to forgive, but never forget. Well, we should not forget because we have to see the betrayer differently. Forgive and Forget? Let’s say that you forgive and forget and you don’t allow yourself to see your betrayer differently. You’ll tell yourself that they have changed or that they won’t ever do that…

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Help: My Wife Cheated and Is Leaving With The Kids

Help: My Wife Cheated and Is Leaving With The Kids

Here’s a letter from one of my subscribers that we will call “Jacob”. Mr. Ayala My wife decided to have an affair 8 months ago and before I knew about the affair she told me on my 36th Birthday she didn’t know if she wanted to be with me anymore because I was controlling. I didn’t see this coming because she had never said anything to me about being unhappy before this. She said it was not right that she…

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Curing Why You Are Not Sexually Attracted to Who You Love: Psychoanalysis

Curing Why You Are Not Sexually Attracted to Who You Love: Psychoanalysis

Let me just give you the bad news up-front. The good news is at the end. You aren’t consciously free in your search for who you love. This is because you automatically go out and re-find in a new lover what you had in an old lover. Have you dated the same loser over and over again? Have you dated that some person who just takes and takes and doesn’t really care about you? That’s not an accident. You’ve done…

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Ask Me Anything: Should I Have a 3-Some with the Boyfriend I Want to Marry?

Ask Me Anything: Should I Have a 3-Some with the Boyfriend I Want to Marry?

There are many questions about the boundaries of igniting passion in your relationships and doing “too much”. I had one of my subscribers to my blog write an e-mail to me about her relationship and sexual fantasies to see if they were “too much”. If you’re interested in having a question answered by a Modern Psychoanalytical Relationship Specialist e-mail me at Adam@Ayala.com. All identifying information is confidential. Letter from Jenny Mr. Ayala, I was reading one of your blogs about how…

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Why You Won’t Ask for Sex The Right Way

Why You Won’t Ask for Sex The Right Way

1. You will not ask for what you need in a relationship because you don’t know what you want. Sydney, a young intellect, came to my office because her sex life was not providing the results she desired. Sydney: “You know Mr. Ayala. My intellect tells me that since we have had the sexual revolution decades ago sex would be easy for women. We would get the sex that we want in the relationships we work hard in. But it…

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Why Who Initiates Sex Matters

Why Who Initiates Sex Matters

There is this painful topic that matters so much, but it’s not ever talked about in a way that you can bring to your bed. That Painful Moment You’re lying in bed at night next to your lover.  The day is over, there are many things to do tomorrow, but tomorrow is hours and a sunrise away. Co-workers and people in your life are the worst. They give you lots of problems, treat you poorly and you feel unappreciated by…

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Love Advice Check Ep. 1

Love Advice Check Ep. 1

  Love Advice Check Ep. 1 Here are this week’s 3 articles from writers all over the world I’ve picked for you to see if what they are telling you will help you in your love life. If you want the full episode each week personally delivered to your inbox Join Our Community! The 7 Biggest Reasons We’re So Afraid of Falling In Love This is an excellent article written by Lisa Firestone, Ph.D. an international expert on interpersonal relationships, parenting,…

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7 Ways to Stay Lovers and Not X’s When You Live Together

7 Ways to Stay Lovers and Not X’s When You Live Together

  Jamie’s Worry I was at a local coffee shop here in Orlando and Jamie recognized me from my social media and told me about the troubles she is having with her boyfriend now that they have moved in together. Everything was great at first. They moved in together, they got everything organized, the internet was up and they could finally relax.They did get in a small fight while they were moving into their new home, but she felt that…

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The Conditions of Unconditional Love

The Conditions of Unconditional Love

I was at one of my local haunts here in Orlando and someone recognized me and asked me a question about relationships that took both of us some time to really get a grasp of. Laura (don’t worry, her real name is not Laura) told me some about her relationship history and wanted to know if unconditional love actually exists. Laura: “I get so depressed in relationships and I don’t want to do that anymore.” The conversation ended with Laura…

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