Question from Subscriber: What do you say to those people who don’t pursue the meaningful relationship they need and are stuck in the bad relationship they are in because they are afraid to change?
You should be afraid of pursuing a meaningful relationship because there are many trials and tribulations to get to a point where you can have a meaningful relationship. Then you have to find someone else who has done their own worthy trials and gone through their own tribulations and then you have to meet! And the courting has to happen and you have to agree to have a relationship with each other. It sounds almost impossible.
But you should be more afraid to stay in the miserable relationship you’re in because the price you are paying for staying in your miserable relationship is your own death. Your relationship feels miserable now because it’s snuffing out your light. It is snuffing out your drive to live so imagine how you will feel in 3 years, 5 years or 10 years as you compound even more responsibilities into this miserable relationship. Maybe you add kids, assets and debts.
What will be tragic is if then you decide to pursue a meaningful relationship. Now you’re older, your market value is diminished compared to the 3, 5 or 10 years ago. You have more moving parts in your life that you’re responsible for that you have to take into account and it will take you longer to get to the point of being able to get into a meaningful relationship and you’ll have less time to do it!
The devil you know is not better than the devil you don’t.
Image you were in Hell with all the fire and brimstone and I gave you a key to a door and told you that if you are responsible and with some luck the other side of that door is not Hell. Would you not take the key and try the door? Or would you stay in the torturous Hell you know because you’re too afraid of the possibility that there is a Hell on the other side of the door?
I’d take the key and do the work. At least I give myself a chance because there isn’t anything worse than the misery of Hell. Especially of a Hell that you have meticulously crafted for yourself.
Not sure what to do or think about what you’re feeling? If you’re curious to know if you are miserable in your relationship because your relationship is fundamentally destructive for you here is my Guide: 14 Differences Between Toxic & Loving Relationships. This will walk you through the different parts of these kinds of relationships so you can identify what you or one of your loved ones is experiencing so you can Fix Your Fate instead of letting destiny choose for you.