Too often these couples stay in toxic relationships just for the sake of making the other person as miserable as possible
Toxic relationships don’t exist just because of the “other” person in the relationship most of the time. It’s often the case that you don’t have enough time, energy, mature personality or willpower to deal with the many small problems that have been allowed to accumulate in the relationship.
A pond becomes toxic one drop at a time. Sometimes only one toxic drip drops in, and other times an overwhelming amount drops in at once.
Toxic relationships will too often look like the good relationship, but underneath there is great rage that is being depressed. Your body keeps the score and your unconscious feelings towards a partner you don’t like, let us be honest, that you hate, will come out inevitably. You pollute your mind and your environment to a point where you can’t fix it and you won’t want to fix it.
Many studies into relationships show that the relationships that are most likely to fail, “toxic relationships”, are those relationships which couples are polite to each other, but communicate hostile messages.
For instance, say that one person in the relationship says to the other, “Did you hear that the Kardashians are going to be in Orlando for blah blah blah.” And on the surface the other person says politely, “Oh wow, that’s interesting,” but they’re still looking down at their cell phone wishing the other person would just shut up about irrelevant things.
Too often these couples stay in toxic relationships just for the sake of making the other person as miserable as possible, and we have an unlimited amount of ways of torturing the other person due to the limitless imagination and ability for harm, hostility and evil we have. We rather be fighting and in misery and creating misery than being alone. At least creating misery gives you a purpose and an excuse to not change.
This is due to both individuals in the couple being so dependent on each other in their misery that they will repeat these types of interactions until death does them part.
Are you Batman or Joker?
This is the type of relationship Batman had with Joker.
“”Oh, you. You just couldn’t let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You are truly incorruptible, aren’t you? Huh? You won’t kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won’t kill you because you’re just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.” – Joker “The Dark Knight”
Without Batman’s orderliness, the Joker would destroy the world through chaos. Without the Joker’s chaos, Batman would destroy himself by never leaving his cave in his suffocating orderliness. They need each other and will stay together at others and their own expense.
Joker was the way he was because of the toxic environment he developed in. Batman was the way he was because he traumatically grew up with no parents. They are a match made in Hell. Well, they are a match that created their perfect Hell together.
Do you know couples that grew up in toxic environments and with “not good enough” parents who destroyed and hurt everything and everyone around them as they fought each other?
Isn’t This Just What “Happens” To Long-Term Relationships?
Doing or not doing something about your toxic relationship will only reflect the Truth of how much you value yourself, not the delusion you tell yourself every day.
Some people will tell you that this is the inevitable path of long-term relationships. That you will just be polite to each other as you are both mentally strangling and murdering each other.
That’s just an excuse to stay in the repetition of misery with that other person so you don’t have to change anything. You get to feel like a victim, she’s the hypergamic ball-n-chain, he’s oppressive patriarchal asshole, and the whole time you keep digging yourself into the nihilistic ideology of believing you’re right and you don’t have to change because you keep investing in the delusion that they’re always wrong.
You’re free to stay in that type of relationship if you want. It’s the easier way.
It’s comfortable to run to cover from truth.
Or, do something about it. Doing or not doing something about your toxic relationship will only reflect the Truth of how much you value yourself, not the delusion you tell yourself every day.
Now you get it. You can deny, but you won’t forget it.
But why stay in your current comfort of a Toxic Relationship? If you’re curious or want to understand what a Toxic Relationship is my Guide: 14 Differences Between Toxic & Loving Relationships will walk you through the different parts of these kinds of relationships so you can identify what you or one of your loved ones is experiencing so you can Fix Your Fate instead of letting destiny choose for you.